Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Everything you didn't want to know about Stretch marks but are tortured by anyway

From the submission thread:

Incubus assaults our retinas with a discussion about stretch marks.
Eurgh. Being the TMI-manwhore that he is, informs us that he *gasp!* has stretch marks. As if the guy wasn't disgusting enough, he's got ass cheeks like look like a giant pair of ribbon candy. Sick.

190? Come on, you've got to be joking. If this guy has stretch marks, particularly near the caboose area, he's gotta be HUGE right? So he's disgusting and lies about being fat?

Honorable mention goes to Indygrrl who just has to chime in to mention how perfect she is. I swear she's drawn to threads like this like a fly on shit.

-----------
Mod note: we are loving bodies and body parts at the moment, aren't we?

posted by secretdubai @ 1:52 PM   20 tokes off a turd

20 Comments:

At 4/13/2005 2:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
No, he doesn't have to be huge. My brother got stretchmarks all over his belly just by putting on weight quickly. Sure he's fat, but he isn't a 300 pound behemoth.  
At 4/13/2005 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
But does he go online and tell everyone about it?

Heh. Just thought: And they called US the Me Generation! Ha!  
At 4/13/2005 2:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
In the 'What do you hate about yourself' thread, Indygrrl mentions, "I either think I'm the best thing since sliced bread, or the worst human who ever got flung onto this planet. Very little middle ground."

I guess she saves all her manac episodes for the SDMB community.  
At 4/13/2005 2:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
That thread is a true trainwreck in the making. I'm just waiting until Jarfatty and Opalcat chime in.

With all the weigh fluctuations Opalcat has had, she must be the mother of all stretch marks.

Stretch marks are absolutely disgusting. That Incubus guy must have really gotten smacked hard by the ugly stick to wind up with them if he is only 190 pounds at his height; the thought of a gangly looking guy with stretch marks makes me nauseous.

[proud of her stretch mark free boobs, butt, thighs and tummy]  
At 4/13/2005 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
Speaking of Indygrrl, shes really making an ass of herself in the "Stacked with Pamela Anderson" thread in CS:

http://boards.straightdope.com/
sdmb/showthread.php?t=311630

Some fun quotes from Miss Perfection:

"I'd like to watch it. I've always loved Pam. She's beeeyoootiful."

"Good implants are good, bad boob jobs are the work of satan. haha."

"Pam's video was infinitely hotter than Paris's. That is all."

What part of PA is beeeyoootiful, exactly? The ginormous fake udders, I mean, tits? The collegen inflated duck-lips? The orange tan-in-a-can? The overprocessed bleach blonde hair? The acrylic dragonlady nails-of-death? The ten pounds of liquid foundation, blush, concealer, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, powder, lip liner, and lipstick?

Well then, I have to agree. Thats an attractive batch of chemicals right there! Whoo! *starts jerking off* Aw, yeah!  
At 4/13/2005 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
Which leads me to believe that Indygrrl basically is like a version of Pam Anderson that can't act ;)  
At 4/13/2005 5:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
And Pamela Anderson can? Ha! I think you must be distracted by her funbags.

Who wants to bet Inky found his stretchmarks while admiring his prostate?  
At 4/13/2005 6:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
Shit in the shower?? Got a link for that? Curiosity killed the cat, I know.  
At 4/13/2005 6:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
[i]What part of PA is beeeyoootiful, exactly? The ginormous fake udders, I mean, tits? The collegen inflated duck-lips? The orange tan-in-a-can? The overprocessed bleach blonde hair? The acrylic dragonlady nails-of-death? The ten pounds of liquid foundation, blush, concealer, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, powder, lip liner, and lipstick?[/i]

Yes, and I'm masturbating like a motherfuck right now!  
At 4/13/2005 6:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
"Shit in the shower?? Got a link for that? Curiosity killed the cat, I know."

Hang on to your kitty! Its raining links!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2980691&postcount=43

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4922537&postcount=41

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5704508&postcount=4

And one to grow on:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5268227&postcount=5

And I will accept your apology in advance. I'm cool like that.  
At 4/13/2005 6:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
"Yes, and I'm masturbating like a motherfuck right now!"

God, I'd hate to be around you when The Drew Carey Show is on...  
At 4/13/2005 7:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
Stretch marks are absolutely disgusting...[proud of her stretch mark free boobs, butt, thighs and tummy]

Sweetie, if you don't have a single stretchmark on your boobs, I can pretty much guarantee that they're nothing to be proud of.  
At 4/13/2005 7:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
You're both wrong. She's vain and you're an idiot. Theres nothing wrong with not having them from childbearing, and theres nothing wrong with not having them. Bragging about your body makes you seem ugly (Indygrrl) and bragging about how used up, scarred up, and messed up bearing your spawn left you is also stupid (Jarbabyj).

And both of you can bite my cock.  
At 4/13/2005 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
"Theres nothing wrong with not having them from childbearing, and theres nothing wrong with not having them."

Remove the individual "not" of your choice there. Thank you.  
At 4/13/2005 7:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
You know I think Indy's an annoying loser, but I don't really know how she was bragging by recommending vitamin E oil. Sure, it's retarded advice, but it's not like she added a sentence that said, "and that's why my skin is all perfect," which is what I would have expected from her. I'm actually impressed that she managed to hold back for once.  
At 4/13/2005 7:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
Stretchmarks can be anywhere from unnoticeable tiny white stripes to giant furrows of purple horror. How ugly they are depends on a lot of things, the main of which is who's ass are they on and how much peanut butter is clinging to it?  
At 4/13/2005 10:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
I think she was being really sneaky about it, by pretending to give advice.

She didn't say she had (or lacked) stretch marks which leaves it open. Though I doubt it; how many strippers have you seen with stretch marks?

[excluding Opalcat for everyone's sakes]  
At 4/14/2005 11:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
I've seen lots of strippers with stretch marks, why?  
At 4/14/2005 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
Stretch marks are absolutely disgusting. That Incubus guy must have really gotten smacked hard by the ugly stick to wind up with them if he is only 190 pounds at his height; the thought of a gangly looking guy with stretch marks makes me nauseous.

[proud of her stretch mark free boobs, butt, thighs and tummy]

Please don't ever birth children or gain any weight as you hit menopause. Of course, varicose veins are generally uglier and more noticeable than stretch marks, and you'll probably end up with those anyway.  
At 4/15/2005 11:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous snarked:
I've seen lots of strippers with stretch marks, why?

Because that's where you see the majority of your unphotoshopped naked women?  

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